The People We Meet

Three best friends showed up when I needed them. There they stood, with warm smiles and open arms.

“Chas, come here, someone’s here you should see…” my brother’s unusual tone coaxed me around the corner to the entryway of the funeral parlor where my eyes could barely focus on the three familiar figures before me, unfamiliar in that setting, almost five hours of traveling east in freezing cold temperatures.

“Wha… Wha… Wha…?”

My brother laughed, “Ha, I’ve never seen her so stumped, I think you got her!”

“Wha… what are you guys doing here?!” I couldn’t stop the choking feeling.

“It’s your grandma, Chas, we know how much she meant to you.”

My eyes blink tears as I recall the moment as vividly as it happened little over a year ago, because I’ll hang on to that feeling forever. Never had I felt that, of not knowing what I needed until there they stood, waiting for me to grab onto, and to each of them I did with a hug and headshake of disbelief.

“You’re the best, thank you. I didn’t know how much I needed you until right now, thank you for knowing.”

I am blessed with a plethora of wonderful people in my life.

I grew up with siblings and cousins and kids from church, our parents in each other’s weddings. Grade school added options to the mix, middle and high school even more. Church camp, 4-H camp stirred in pen pals for years. Sports opened doors to towns around us; track meets became basketball reunions while slow-pitch softball introduced me to characters I wouldn’t have known otherwise, so grateful I do.

College amped the chances of meeting more like-minded people and that I did, plus roommates from three colleges remain friends to this day, sometimes only as close as a FB post, but we’re still posting [update: we're Zooming this wknd!], and with other college friends too, some are best friends we vacation with yearly, others we cross paths with quite often.

Grad school welcomed new faces, those I may not have chosen at onset but shared currents of interest, including a professor who drank Guinness by the pitcher with us on Thursday nights at the local bar. We still run into each other at the SD Festival of Books, after last time I received a post card typed from one of his vintage typewriters.

While college broadened my scope of the world, New York City swirled me right in the middle for almost ten years. I had my nanny family and friends, my publishing and PR friends, my Wall Street friends, my recruiter friends, my restaurant friends, my music friends, my bar friends, my Hoboken friends, my Jersey shore friends, my Hamptons friends, my city friends, my all-nighter friends, my wine club friends, my apartment building friends… I had so much fun with so many friends, smiles triggered by memories slipping across my face because there’s so much to remember and smile about and laugh about and cringe about too, but that was all part of it, fun with friends I never knew I would meet.

I mean, who knew one of my dearest friendships would evolve when saying yes to renting a Jersey shore house with a few dudes and cool chicks for a summer ride unlike anything else I had experienced to that point, maaaybe indicative of an Iowa State frat party during Veishea.

It's crazy how many different types of people provide the rue of a city, and I barely tasted the base, the underground, the artists. I did visit some museums, attended Broadway and off-Broadway shows, musical venues in the Village lured me in, bands of friends I followed, art show invite why not, CBGB at least once, Skanatra give me a show.

Similar to how you could pretty much do whatever you want to do in New York City because it offers every single option, so does that apply to people. Every option of any friend you could imagine. And I loved to play with them all.

I send Christmas cards to many, as a means to keep connecting, some I have no idea if they’ve moved or when they receive it each year, they’re like, "Seriously, give up woman, we knew each other 20 years ago. Kids are cute, but we'll never see each other again.” And that’s okay, because I’ll keep sending them, including one to the restaurant where I worked part-time for several years, meeting more of my favorite people in this world.

I love connecting with people, not necessarily on a regular basis of phone calls or texting, but rather, from the heart, where you know you will always pick up where you left off because time doesn’t matter and guilt is off the table.

That said, to excuse and justify my lack of efforts to communicate sometimes, I do believe now more than ever is the ideal time to reach out, just to say hi.

I miss my friends...

Btw, that was QUESTION 10, asking more about childhood friends but I couldn't leave it at that.

And QUESTION 11 asks about traveling as a child, but again, I expanded. I'm kinda getting bored with myself, hence condensing.

Anyway, friends.

F – fanatical & fun

R – rebels & rock stars

I – introverts

E – extroverts

N – nerds & nincompoops

D – dangerous & darling

S – sensitive & smiley